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Are you ready?

Since always, of course I would be the one to walk her down.

Well, what's that supposed to mean?

It means that I nursed our daughter, I raised our daughter, I was there with our daughter every day.

Why wouldn't I be the one?

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That's because I enabled you to. I'm the provider.

I'm the one that let you stay at home all day.

I'm the one that put all the food on the table for you and her.

I'm the one that should walk her down the aisle.

Okay, well being a stay-at-home mother is no walk in the park.

I didn't say that. That's not what I meant.

Speaking of walking, I'm the one who walked our daughter to school every day, every year of her life.

Yeah, and who took her to all the soccer tournaments? Me.

Every day. That practice was so hard, putting all the brats into the van and driving them around the state.

It was ridiculous. I definitely deserve to take her.

Okay, and when she had her heart broken for the first time, who do you think she came running to?

Me, because she trusts me.

Only because you were at home, I was off working my ass off.

What about this day, this beautiful wedding? What about the dress you're wearing? Who do you think picked that out?

Kristen did. Of course, I mean, it's her wedding.

Me. I'm the one who helped plan this entire wedding with no help from you, I might add.

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